


The Room Where It Happens Except Aaron is literally going insane

by GunsAndShipsAndMoreShips



Series: The Misadventures Of A.Ham [1]
Category: Hamilton - Fandom, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Comedy, Detectives, F/M, Falling Out of Trees, Feels, Funny, Insanity, Kidnapping, Lams but it's a joke, M/M, My first fic, Puppets, The Room Where It Happens, This got dark quickly, This is DUMB, Tree Climbing, crazy Aaron burr, im bad at tags, lol this is so dumb but it's my pride and joy, what am I doing with my life, what is this even, what is this tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:26:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GunsAndShipsAndMoreShips/pseuds/GunsAndShipsAndMoreShips
Summary: Basically Aaron is going insane over trying to find out what happened in the room and chaos ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

Burr was honestly more than a bit peeved. Alexander flipping Hamilton gets a free pass into the room where it happens and he had to wait outside. He started to think what he could do about it and made a list in his head. Well, for starters he could just be a normal person and stop crying over spilled milk... nah. He could sing a huge musical number and have everyone walking by think he was insane, which is what he did for a while, but that didn't help. Then he realized the obvious solution.   
Burr went outside and tried to look into the window of the room, but he was slightly too short to get a view of what was happening. He grabbed the branch of a nearby tree, popped the window open slightly so he could hear, and tried to get a decent view of what was going on. Just then Jefferson looked out the window and Burr panicked, his grip slipping and he came tumbling to the ground.   
"Did you hear something?" Madison said as he heard Burr yelp in pain.  
"Nope. Well anyway, about my debt plan," Hamilton said.  
Burr groaned as he got up and figured that he could just listen in, but Jefferson noticed the window was open and slammed it shut, locking it from the inside.   
Burr ran back inside the building as fast as humanly possible and nearly smashed himself against the door, putting his ear on it in hope to hear what's happening inside. All he could hear was mumbling and the occasional yelling from Hamilton and Jefferson.   
He had been in that awkward position for a few minutes when Washington walked by.   
"Burr?" He asked.   
"Um yes Mr. President?"   
"What are you doing?"  
Burr couldn't think of a single good answer to that question. "Yes Mr. President! I was just trying to listen in on highly classified information, don't mind me!" And to bolt in the other direction were the only options at that point, and he went with the ladder and ran home.


	2. "Well I created a monster"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops Aaron created a monster

Burr locked himself in his office when he got home (he was truly becoming more like Hamilton) and got lost in thought about what happened for a few hours before he was interrupted by Theo.   
"Daddy? Supper's ready," she said. He sighed and followed her downstairs.   
He hardly ate because he was too lost in thought. Both Theodsias were getting a bit concerned because of how zoned out he looked. After that, he went back to the capital and hoped he could avoid Washington after that horrifically awkward incident and still get the news of what the results were. Which was what happened.   
Hamilton got unprecedented financial power and Virginia gets the capital! Burr couldn't help but yell "WHAT!?" when he heard the news.   
He rushed out the door in hopes he could catch Hamilton before he went home. "Alexander!" He yelled when he saw him pass by. "You literally just sold New York City down the river for an unreasonable amount of power."  
"Yep."  
"You got more than you gave."  
"And I wanted what I got."  
Hamilton then turned around and went home. Aaron really wished he hadn't taught him his motto of "talk less, smile more" all those years ago because he seemed to have created a monster from it. He sighed and went home after Hamilton. He wondered even more about what happened in that room now.

 


	3. Puppet Master Burr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Great googly moogly it's all gone to hell

It had been a week since the whole "incident." Burr had stopped coming to work or even talking to people, so needless to say they were getting concerned. Although Alex liked to say he hated Burr, he really did care about him. So one afternoon he decided enough was enough and went to his house. Theo answered the door.  
"Hi, I'm here to see your father," Alexander said.   
"DADDY! There's some weird guy to see you!" She yelled.  
"Gee thanks," He muttered under his breath.  
No answer.  
Alex decided to take matters into his own hands, so he went upstairs and knocked on the door. "Burr?"  
Still no answer.  
He tried to open the door, but it was locked. That posed no problem to Alex though, he had picked quite a few locks in his day. He tried to pick it for only a few seconds before it popped open.  
And what he saw was an Aaron Burr playing with puppets and wearing some weird hat.   
"The fudge Burr" was the only thing he could muster before slamming the door.  
"Theodosia I think your husband has gone insane."  
"What?!"  
Theodosia ran upstairs and opened the door, and sure enough he had become just that.  
Insane.   
She collapsed onto her knees. "Oh god. He's lost his mind," she whispered in a state of shock.  
She sighed heavily in a desperate attempt to pull herself together, and asked "Alexander, can you take care of Theo for a little bit?"   
"Whatever I can do to help."  
He then went to get Theo and she protested until he mentioned Phillip.   
"What?" She asked.  
"I said I have a son about your age and I think you two would get along wel-" he was interrupted by Theo bolting out the door and yelling "LEAD THE WAY MR. HAMILTON!!"  
Alex laughed and followed her.   
But he could hear the older Theodosia crying from inside the house, and it honestly broke his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When suddenly feels


	4. Time To Break Out The Ships :>

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist it had to be done

The next day Alex arrived at Burr's house to find a disheveled Theodosia that he couldn't help but feel sorry for.  
"Any progress with Aaron?" He asked.  
"No. He's ignoring me. I don't even know where he got those puppets from but he sure is obsessed with them."  
"I'm going to go check on him," he said before getting up.  
He opened the door to his office cautiously, honestly terrified of what he would find in there. Burr was still in there playing with puppets. "Oh. Well this is normal enough- WAIT IS THAT A LAURENS DOLL. AND IS THAT ME. AND WHY THE HECK ARE WE MAKING OUT."  
(I'm sorry I ship it tho) Burr just responded by sweating and holding still.   
"Give me that," Alex said as he ripped the puppets from his hand.   
He exited the room more embarrassed than he had ever been in his life.  
"What happened?" Theodosia asked as he left the room with his puppets.  
"You don't want to know. Now if you will excuse me I am going to go rethink my life choices."  
Before Theodosia could even ask he had left the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imsosorry


	5. This adds nothing to the story but it's funny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you give 8 year olds and a toddler puppets

Alexander had made the mistake of leaving the puppets on the kitchen table of his house before he had gone to the bedroom to rethink his life choices. After a long existential crisis, he had gone downstairs to find Phillip, Angie, and Theo throwing a wedding for puppet John and Alex. "Why. What did I do to deserve this," he said as he watched whatever the heck was happening. "Eliza! Can you believe this!?" He said as he turned around to see her barely keeping in hysterical laughter. He groaned and went back upstairs to write about something. ANYTHING than this.

 

 

~~The worst part was that it was true.~~


	6. Whoops Aaron's Gone Phsyco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well crap

It had now been a month after Aaron started to go insane over finding out what happened in the room. Puppets weren't helping his cause, so he figured he should take initiative. Not in the good way though.  
He actually went to work for the first time in a quite a while. But he wasn't here to work. He was here to get answers. He saw Madison walking by, so he said hello and asked him to follow him. "Where are you taking me?" Madison asked as they got further and further away from the main building.  
"Places."  
And before Madison even knew what was happening, he was tied to a chair and being interrogated by Aaron Burr.  
"Okay Madison," Burr said. "I need to ask you one question."  
"And what would that be?"  
"What happened in the Room Where it happens?"  
"The what?" Madison asked, clearly confused.  
"You know... the Room Where Alex got a lot of financial power? And you were there??"  
"Oooh." He said. "Why would you want to know? And why did you just kidnap me?"  
"Reasons. Now talk."  
"No," he said calmly. If there was one thing Madison was good at, it was keeping calm under pressure.  
"Would you talk for... $1!"  
"No."  
"$5?"  
"Still no."  
That went on for at least two hours, and Aaron had gotten his offer up to $1000 (an insane amount of money then).  
"Do you even have that much money?"  
"...no."  
Burr and Madison sat in awkward silence for a while before a crazy grin suddenly took over Burr's face.  
"Would you talk for..." he pulled out a puppet of Jefferson "...him?"  
"Wh-what?!"  
"Talk or bye bye Jefferson."  
"You wouldn't dare."  
Burr ripped puppet Jefferson's head off and threw it on the floor.  
"Okay."  
That broke Madison. " WAIT!! NO!" He screamed. He tried to get out of the chair but ended up falling on his face.

When suddenly the door swung open revealing two familiar figures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't ship Jeffmads please don't take it the wrong way


	7. Elementary my dear Jefferson.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is a great detective. Who knew!

Alexander had assumed that Aaron would be at home playing with puppets all day. But to his surprise, he had shown up to work. He wanted to talk to him, but there was a cabinet meeting today.  
And Madison hadn't shown up. He just assumed he was sick again, but Jefferson looked concerned.  
"What's wrong?" Alex asked him.  
"I came to work with James this morning but... I haven't seen him since."  
"Oh. I'm sure it's nothing too bad."  
Jefferson sighed. "Okay. Sure."  
Later that day, rumors were going around that someone had kidnaped Aaron and Madison, but it was more of a joke because of how they both disappeared.  
Alex bolted off towards Jefferson's office as soon as he heard.  
"What do you want?" Jefferson asked, but not in his usual sarcastic voice.  
"I know what happened to James. And it's not good," he said, out of breath. "Follow me."  
Jefferson got up and did as he said. "So... what happened to him?" He asked.   
"I think he got kidnapped."  
"What?"  
By the time the conversation was over, they were at Alexander's house (he lived close to work) and in his office.  
"Explain to me why on earth you think he was kidnapped," Jefferson said.  
"Burr- lost his mind a while ago."  
"What??"  
"Yeah. I think he kidnapped Madison."  
Jefferson tried to pull himself together. "Why are we here though?" He asked.  
"Guns. In case Burr gets aggressive ."  
"YOU WANNA SHOOT BURR?"  
"No! It's just for intimidation. I wouldn't attack someone who has a gun."  
"For once you had a good idea Hamilton."  
It took a moment for Alex to process that statement. "Thank... you? Anyway, lets go so we're not too late!"  
Alex took of running. For someone with such short legs he sure ran fast. He knew probably the perfect spot to kidnap someone, that old creepy abandoned building near work. They got there just in time, and sure enough they could hear Burr and Madison's conversation.  
"Okay," Alexander said as he took a deep breath. "Kick the door down on 3...2...1..."


	8. You Dun Goofed Kid

"Thomas!" James yelled as he saw him enter through the doorway.  
"Alexander," Burr mumbled.  
Thomas tried to untie James, but Burr grabbed Thomas' arms and threw him onto the floor.  
"Now will one of you three tell me... What was in the Room Where it happened?"  
"Nothing interesting even happened! Except for when Hamilton got in a fistfight with Thomas." Madison yelled from his chair.  
"Or when Jefferson started a rap battle on top of the table," Alex said.  
"Wait what are we talking about?" Thomas said.  
"So... I literally just kidnapped and tried to murder two people just to learn they're idiots?"  
"Yeah. Pretty much," Thomas responded.  
Burr fell down and started crying once he heard that. "Oh my god, I'm a terrible person..."  
"No you're not. You're just... kind of insane." Thomas said.  
Burr sniffled for a bit and wiped his tears.  
"Thanks. I guess..."   
"Now let's get you home," Alex said. "You've got a lot of explaining to do to your wife."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin


	9. Quick Bonus

Alex : Burr, how did you know that I liked Laurens?  
Burr : I snuck into your house and read your letters   
TJeffs/Madison : WAT

**Author's Note:**

> Wow you actually got this far congratulations


End file.
